Baseball is Steviepooooo’s favorite sport. He likes the way they throw the ball back and forth.
Ok maybe baseball is not Steviepoooooo’s favorite sport. However, I do thoroughly enjoy it. I have attended more professional baseball games than any other professional sport. Now, a huge reason for this is the massive amount of baseball games during the season. That is part of what I like about it. Six days of the week I can either watch my hometown Cubs play, or I can read about how they did that given day. Without baseball, the summer would feel so slow from a sports perspective.
Playoff baseball is possibly the most intense playoffs in professional sports. On the rare occasion that the Cubs are making a deep run in the post season, your boy lives and dies with every pitch. I vividly remember crying in school when I was in middle school in 2003 when the Cubs lost in the NLCS in heartbreaking fashion. I subsequently have great memories of experiencing tears of joy for the first time in my life. This occurred in 2016 when the Cubs won the World Series for the first time in over one hundred years.
There are few things I would rather do during the summer than attend a baseball game with my friends and family. I love being outside and having a good time. I also LIVE for the chance of catching a foul ball.
I have caught a ball thrown by one of my favorite Cubbies of all time, Anthony Rizzo. But never a foul ball. Rizzo was totally aiming for some young kids in the row in front of me but fuck those kids. That ball was MINE. I sleep with that ball on my nightstand to this day. It is mine! My own! My…. PRECIOUS!
Time to brighten up your Sunday afternoon with my thoughts on the goings on in each division of Major League Baseball.
AL East
As someone who loves to follow the Cubs around the country, I have to sadly admit that Yankee stadium is my favorite stadium that I have been to so far. I was eating lobster in my seat while getting screamed at by ushers for using the good chinaware to eat said lobster. Oh memories.
This is one of the angriest divisions in baseball. All the fans in this division, with the exception of the Tampa Bay Rays fans because they are nonexistent, BOOM ROASTED, are the craziest fans in baseball.
The Orioles have taken a disappointing step back in this division. The Blue Jays on the other hand have been giving the heavily favored Yankees a run for their money this season. My money is still on the Yankees coming away as the winners of this division.
AL Central
My stepchildren, the Detroit Tigers, are buttfucking everyone in this divsion. For those of you who need a quick reminder, the Tigers are my step children because I have lived in Michgian for a very long time. I will always support the Tigers as long as they are not playing the Cubs.
The Tigers are by far the best team in the AL Central. The Guardians are disappointing and the Royals are too young. The White Sox suck per usual and the Twins are still there. The Tigers got this. No need to stress my Tiger fan friends. You can put off your anxiety until the ALDS. Enjoy it!
AL West
The cheating Astros may win this division but my heart will be rooting for the Big Dumper and the Seattle Mariners.
To those of you who have been living under a rock, The Big Dumper is Seattle Mariners catcher Cal Raleigh. He is reffered to as “The Big Dumper” because he has an amazingly huge butt. He uses this majestic backside to generate a tremendous amount of power. He currently has thirty six home runs.
One of my favorite internet trends in a long time is whenever The Big Dumper hits a homerun, the internet goes ablaze with people saying “Big Dumper went poo poo.” YES! Everyone knows Steviepooooo lives for a good poop joke.
The Big Dumper already has my vote locked up for AL MVP. Too bad so sad Aaron Judge. Enjoy all the delicious lobster at Yankee stadium because that is the only award you will be winning this season!
Check back on Thursday for your boy’s thoughts on the National League.
A bientot!
Bennie's Blasts 
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