I need to start out this AFC East preview by shouting out Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones for his dumbass decision to trade Micah Parsons. Sir you are a complete fucking idiot. Not only did you just give away possibly the best defensive player of the past ten years sans Aaron Donald, but you traded him to a rival and a legitimate playoff contender. You fucking crazy old shithead. At least trade him to the AFC so you don’t have to play him in the playoffs you dumbass piece of garbage.
End rant.
The AFC East has perennially been about two teams. The New England Patriots and Buffalo Bills. The Patriots had a chokehold on the division for about twenty years thanks to Belichick and Brady. Times have changed and this division has been controlled by Josh Allen and the Buffalo Bills the past five years. I do not see that changing anytime soon.
1st: Buffalo Bills
No one circles the wagon like the Buffalo Bills. That saying will hold true this season. The Bills are going to win the division easily. If anyone besides the Bills wins this division I will shove four Doritos los tacos straight up my ass. My poor wife and dogs will be my witness.
The Bills offense will once again be amongst the league’s best. Josh Allen is da man and no one in this division can stop him.
I have very few questions about this team’s offense. The only question about this team is whether or not their defense can do enough to slow down Lamar Jackson or Patrick Mahomes in the playoffs.
In fact, if any team besides the Bills, Chiefs or Ravens comes out of the AFC this year and is in the Superbowl I will shove eight tacos up the butt. Eight!
Over under 11.5. I have them down for thirteen wins this year so OVER!
2nd: New York Jets
The Jets are going to be bad. Like pretty boring bad. Their defense will be good enough to carry them to some wins that they have no business winning. They will finish second place in the division with a losing record.
They will beat up on the Patriots and Dolphins but come up woefully short against the Bills.
All the stories this season about the Jets will be about poor old Justin Fields. Fields is a great guy and athlete. He sadly is not very good at throwing a fucking football. It’s impossible to succeed in the NFL as a starting quarterback when you blow chunks at tossing the ole pig skin. I wish him the best and hope I am wrong, but I doubt that I am.
Over under 5.5. They will win six games and go slightly over.
3rd: New England Patriots
If you have ever met a New England Patriot fan, I feel sorry for you. They are the literal worst. I have a cousin who played for the Patriots, and I still fucking despise them.
Their fans have become beyond delusional thanks to their six Superbowl’s. It’s understandable that all those titles would inflate your ego.
Patriots’ fans need to understand two things. One, Drake Maye is not Tom Brady. Two, Mike Vrabel is a damn good coach, but he is not Bill Belichick.
The talent still isnt there. Overall this is still one of the least talented teams in the league. If they win six or seven games this year they should take it as a win.
Over under 8.5. Way under!
4th: Miami Dolphins
The Dolphins have a chance to be one of the biggest clown shows in the league this year. I don’t think it will happen but if they end up riding the bus to tank for Arch Manning it will not shock me. They will have fight the Colts and Saints on said bus for the right to draft him number one overall next year.
Everything has already been said that needs to be said about Tua. As sad as it is to say the man should probably not be playing professional football. He is one bad hit away from being crippled for the rest of his life.
The reports about Tyreek Hill and head coach Mike McDaniels are very concerning. They need to trade Hill asap. If that man is still a Dolphin come December, I will let my dog lick peanut butter out of all my orifices.
Over under 7.5. Way under. They could honestly end the season with four wins.
A bientot!
Bennie's Blasts 
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