Bennie Went Bananas!

Some exciting news that my closest allies are already aware of. Your boy has begun an on again off again relationship with none other than the great Savannah Bananas. Steviepoooooo is Bananas! B! A! N! A! N! A! S!

I have now worked for them in two locations. Once in Grand Rapids Michigan and earlier this month in Chicago Illinois. Both venues were some of the best experiences of my professional career.

For those of you who apparently have been in solitary confinement the past five years, The Savannah Bananas are a group of entertainers determined to make baseball fun again. Their games are literal parties. Their main opponents are dubbed the Party Animals. Your boy was actually dubbed a party animal when he was with them in Grand Rapids. The Party Animals are where the hottest and craziest employees go 😉 Or at least thats what they told me.

What has made my relationship with the Banans so exciting is this organization literally encourages you to be weird. Your boy needs no encouragement. My role is similar to a mascot where I greet and interact with people as they enter the venue. In Chicago I was dressed as a literal banana. The real feel in my costume was over one hundred degrees. Your boy was sweaty! Swamp ass was in full effect. I told one group of younger people who asked if I was hot that it was like a rainforest inside my costume.

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My favorite co banana was a nice young man named Frank. Frank is a break dancer and that boy has some moves! Frank and I were quite the duo. We got in trouble when we decided to have a vicious tip battle with the tip of our bananas night one. Our skulls collided and we were both immediately put through concussion protocol. The powers at be made sure that Steviepooooo and break dancer Frank were at different entrances during game two. I miss you Frank my boy! Have fun in medical school!

Some of my instructions before being a Party Animal or Banana was whenever I am asked to do something in character, think of the normal way to do that thing, then do the opposite of it. For example, when being asked to take a picture, your boy was prone to give rabbit ears or wet willies to any and all young males who were in said picture.

Another somewhat alarming instructions to the male bananas was to be prepared to be touched by older women. Many an older lady could not resist my delicious banana booty. They would squeeze and slap it while posing for pictures. They most likely regretted their thirsty actions when their hands were drenched in my ass sweat. Some of them probably liked it those freaks.

In the end it was all quite harmless and consentual. Mrs. Steviepooooo approved the touching of her man in banana gear by peoples grandmothers. Aint no party like a Savannah Banana party cause your grandmother can let loose!

Every full time employee that I have met of the bananas have been some of the coolest people I have ever met. They are all so fun and professional that it is somewhat disarming. A lot of them worked in the entertainment industry before joining the bananas at places such as Disneyland. It makes sense when you think about it cause the Bananas are literally no more than entertainers.

I was lucky enough to be granted full accesss to The White Sox stadium in Chicago while I was there. I was able to go on the field and see behind the scenes areas that most fans never see. Below is a picture of me deep in White Sox territory in the VIP area. I got to entertain many a former Chicago Whitesox player and employee with my banana moves.

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Shout to my younger brother and his partner for allowing me to stay with them while I persued my dreams of being a banana. I was able to work long days and nights and crash in their apartment. It was a grueling week. I lost over ten pounds of sweat. Both my brother and his partner are medical professionals. I attest that being a banana is a much more difficult and rewarding position.

Some of my most interesting encounters occurred while riding the train to and from the stadium while banananing. Your boy could not resist wearing his beloved banana warmup gear while riding on the train. This led to many a strange encounter.

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The strangest encounter occured when a woman who appeared to be down on her luck, would not stop staring at me. I did not think much of it until I saw a steady stream of some yellowish liquid eminating from her lower half while she continued to stare at me. After about five to ten seconds of deliberating I was able to determine that she was indeed pissing all over the place.

That woman was well hydrated as her flow was impressive. I immediately got up and moved to the other end of the train car. The man next to her was no so lucky as her piss got all over his nice new Jordans. Such is the risks and hazards of riding the Chicago Red Line.

There will be more banana adventures to come as I do staty in contact with my banana representatives and handlers. It is a matter of when not if I will work for them again. I love you my fellow bananas and cannot wait to see you again! 🙂

A bientot!

Stephen Benet (@benetstephen) • Instagram photos and videos

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