Overall this week has been pretty close to a wash for your boy Steviepoooooo. Some big wins, some big losses, but overall the regression comes towards the mean. Your boy barely broke even on his selections from the week.
Marquee College Matchup: Oklahoma 24 Michigan 13
This pick was a winner as Oklahoma easily covered as 5.5-point favorites. This pick was easy to make wish I had bet more than one unit on it. I am not very high on this Michigan team overall. They did not even come close to covering against New Mexico in their first game. They never really had a chance in this one. The Sooners practically steam rolled over them on their way to an easy double-digit victory.
Oklahoma’s new starting quarterback John Mateer was very impressive in this game. He was a powerful rusher and Michigan struggled to bring him down all game. His composure and big runs were the difference in this game.
Thursday Night: Eagles 24 Cowboys 20
This pick was a big fat loser just like me. The Eagles never came close to covering their 8.5-point spread. I knew things were fucked the moment Jalen Carter was ejected before the first snap of the game for hawking a big fat loogie on Dak Prescott. It was so gross but also weirdly impressive.
I left this game thinking that Dallas’ offensive has the potential to be pretty good. I am also concerned that Philly’s defense, specifically their secondary, is going to be significantly worse than last season. They have a lot of work to do if they are going to repeat as Super Bowl champs.
Friday in Brazil: Chargers 27 Chiefs 21
Not to overreact but the Chiefs are DEAD. They might as well all retire. They are not going to win a single game this season!
Ok maybe I did overreact a wee bit there. This one was a bit fat winner for you boy and the poopies who rode with me. Mahomes looked better in this game than he did most of last season. The Chiefs actually were not that bad overall in this game. I was just being dramatic earlier.
The Chargers just played super well. Justin Herbert might be poised to make a leap this year and become one of the premiere quarterbacks in the league.
Sunday Early Slate:
Cardinals 20 Saints 13
This one was a half point loser for the Poopies. Vegas always knows. This game hovered around the spread the entire game. Neither team in this game looked all that impressive. The Cardinals did just barely enough to come out victorious against the lowly Saints in the Superdome.
Colts 33 Dolphins 8
This game might have been the biggest shocker of the day. Even though I won a little money thanks to Danny Dimes and the Colts, I never expected it to be so easy. The Colts looked so good and so competent. The Dolphins looked like they had never played football before.
The Colts pass rush might be among the best in the league. If their offense can remain consistent, they have a real chance to make a playoff push.
The Dolphins need to trade Tyreek Hill as soon as possible. He was visibly frustrated the entirety of this game. Getting him out of their locker room will be a positive thing for the Dolphin’s team as a whole.
Raiders 20 Patriots 13
The Patriots looked like poop. Exactly as your boy predicted. It takes one to know one and Steviepoooooo knows a fellow turd when he sees one. The Patriots are a humongous turd just like me. Another easy win for the Poopies!
Geno Smith was slinging it! I am very excited to see what this team can do during the season as a whole. One if their young receivers is going to pop off and become an elite receiver. I kind of like this strategy of picking numerous receivers later in the draft and hoping one of them turns out to be really good. My money is on Dont’e Thornton Jr. His adjustment deep downfield to make a forty yard catch to ice the game was one of the best plays of the day.
Steelers 34 Jets 32
The Ancient Ayahuasca Enthusiast, Aaron Charles Rodgers, rose from the dead and delivered yet another devastating blow to the Jets franchise. This man is slowly becoming the Freddy Krueger to Jets fan’s nightmares. Welcome to the club! I still cant shake the terrible thoughts this man caused me during his tenure with the Midwestern Communists.
For real though, kudos to him for having his best game in about four years. Additional kudos to the Jets for covering +3. Winner winner! Leftover pizza dinner!
Commanders 21 Giants 6
I do not know how long the Giants can delay the debut if Jaxson Dart. Russell Wilson does not appear to be an NFL quality quarterback anymore. They are doing a team a disservice by trotting Russell out there. He had so many inaccurate throws today.
I do not know what to make of the Commanders. I withhold my right to judgment until their week two game against the Packers. The Giants are such a mess that it is hard to take much away from this game.
The Commanders easily covered and the Poopies took another L.
Jaguars 26 Panthers 10
The Jaguars were the top cat in this back alley brawl. The Panthers entered the conversation for biggest turd of a team alongside the Patriots and Dolphins.
Travis Hunter’s debut was completely underwhelming. Not sure either of these teams will accomplish much going forward this season.
A big loss for the Poopies on this one as the Panthers did not come close to covering.
Bengals 17 Browns 16
Just like my first ever girlfriend this game was UGLY! Shout out to my beautiful wife! Hopefully things will improve for both of these teams just like they did for your boy.
The Bengals did not come close to covering in this one. Another loss for us 😦
As a fan of defense, specifically edge rushers, it was fun to watch Myles Garrett and Trey Hendrickson ball out and apply pressure all day.
Buccaneers 23 Falcons 20
This one hurt. I really thought the Falcons were going to come through for us in this one. They looked poised to do so for a majority of the game. Late game heroics by Baker Mayfield and rookie sensation Emeka Egbuka were enough for the Bucs to pull off the tight victory.
Penix looked very solid in this game. He could be a starting quarterback for years to come. It needs to be acknowledged that veteran kicker Younghoe Koo missed a very makable field goal to send the game to overtime. Come on Koo! What are you Kooing? You cost the Poopies money Koo!
Late Slate
Packers 27 Lions 13
The Packers bent the Lions over and claimed all of their material possessions. The Lions will return to Detroit with their tails between their legs after this pitiful performance. I really thought this would be a closer game. There was one questionable defensive holding call that took a pick six off the board for Detroit. Even with that bullshit my biased ass can’t blame the refs for this Packers victory. They thoroughly outplayed the Lions on this day.
At least Steviepooooo and the Poopies emotionally hedged and put multiple units on the Packers in this game! $$$$
I will be eating good for breakfast tomorrow. Taco Bell here I come! Have the breakfast crunch wraps on deck cause your boy will require PLENTY.
49ers 17 Seahawks 13
America might have watched Sam Darnold Complete his transformation back into a pumpkin this afternoon. He looked scarily similar to the quarterback he used to be before his magical season in Minnesota last season. He had a back braking fumble when the game was on the line that is going to be discussed at nauseum during the week.
It was nice to see Christian McCaffrey back and healthy on the field. The 49ers still have a lot of improving to do before they can be taken seriously.
Another slight loss for the Poopies in this one as the 49ers just barely covered.
Rams 14 Texans 9
This game was just as ugly as I suspected. The defenses won the day as neither team could get any sort of rhythm.
Stafford looked impressive for a quarterback his age. On the other side of the field CJ Stroud still seems unable to re-capture the magic he had during his rookie season.
The Rams did just enough to cover in this one. Some more breakfast crunch wraps for the Poopies.
Denver 20 Tennessee 12
The Denver Broncos, a lot of people’s Darkhorse to win the Super Bowl this season, had a very tough time putting away the rebuilding Tennessee Titans. Bo Nix did not appear to improve too much during the off season. This makes sense as he was already forty-eight years old during his rookie season last season.
I was impressed with Cam Ward in his NFL debut. He definitely has the potential to be a solid quarterback in this league for a long time. Thanks to Covering Cam Ward the Titans barely covered the 8.5-point spread. More money for the Poopies!
This is all for me today. I will provide quick recaps of the Sunday and Monday night games on Thursdays.
Poopies Record
College 1-0
NFL 7-7
Bennie's Blasts 
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