Sunday Night Football Recap
Falcons 22 Vikings 6
This game was not very competitive. JJ McCarthy has played eight quarters of professional football. Seven were horrible and one was good enough to beat the pathetic Bears.
Monday Night Football
Buccaneers 20 Texans 19
Baker Mayfield continued his run as possibly the most clutch quarterback in football. The Buccaneers need to be taken seriously as super bowl contenders. The Texans on the other hand might be good enough to win their pathetic division but that is about it. Another Wild Card loss looks to be in their future.
Chargers 20 Raiders 9
This was any ugly ass slugfest in that dragged on into the wee hours of the morning. Your boy stayed up very late to see if his Raiders money line bet had any chance of hitting. It did not! The Chargers defense looks to be one of the best in the league. The Raiders offense has a lot of work to do.
College Marquee Indiana -6.5 over Illinois
This is not a premier week for college football. A lot of the top programs are off this week for whatever reason. It is very early to have a bye, but no one can tell Ohio State what to do. I am surprised that Indiana is such a heavy favorite in this game, but I have decided to side with the more experienced home team. Go Hoosiers!
Thursday Night Football
Bills -11.5 over Dolphins
The Bills are going to run the lowly Dolphins out of the building. The Bills are the superior team in every aspect of the game. This game will not be close, and the Bills will cover easily.
NFL Early Slate
Vikings -2.5 over Bengals
Our first annual Battle of the Backups is going to be a doozey. Carson Wentz vs Jake Browning. I am going to put my money on good old Carson Wentz and not feel great about it.
Patriots +1.5 over Steelers
This game is going to be a complete shootout as neither defense looks capable of stopping anyone early into the season. Hopefully this game is entertaining. We are riding with the home under dog in this one.
Titans +4.5 over Colts
As fun as the Colts have been so far this season, they are too heavy favorites on the road against the Titans. The talent gap between these teams is not big enough to justify this spread. The Colts are coming back down to earth, and the Titans are going to cover.
Texans +1.5 over Jaguars
This game is gross, and I have almost no interest in watching it. I am still going to watch almost every snap because I have a problem. I am choosing the Texans out of spite. I need a break from betting on the Jaguars this week.
Falcons -5.5 over Panthers
Similar to the Jaguars I am picking the Falcons out of spite for the Panthers. I am not sure the Falcons are good enough to justify being five-point favorites on the road. Fuck da Panthers and go birds!
Eagles -3.5 over Rams
Somehow the rematch of the best playoff game last season is not a prime-time matchup. There has been a lot of negative discourse about the toosh push this past week. Maybe it’s because I’m 37% gay but I personally enjoy watching close up shots of Jalen Hurts and Saquon Barkley’s perfectly defined booties. If the toosh push gets banned, please promise me that they will continue to work on their chiseled asses.
Buccaneers -6.5 over Jets
Bet on Baker and the Bucs to zoom past the Jets at home this week and don’t look back!
Raiders +3.5 over Commanders
I reserve the right to change my mind about this one if Jaden Daniels plays. I am under the impression that he will not play. The Raiders will abuse Marcus Mariota and the beleaguered Commanders.
Packers -7.5 over Browns
It will be a sad day for freedom this Sunday as the Wisconsin Communists are going to steam roll lowly Browns.
Late Window
Chargers -2.5 over Broncos
The Chargers have easily covered the spread in each of their games this season. They will extend that streak to three in a row against the underwhelming Broncos. Bo Nix is going to be in hell against this stifling Chargers defense.
Seahawks -7.5 over Saints
I refuse to bet on Spencer Rattler again. I just won’t do it. Seahawks are going to force a minimum of three turnovers and win this contest handily.
Cowboys -1.5 over Bears
The forecast for this game is Steviepoooooo will completely spiral during this game. The Bears are going to give up over forty points for the second straight week. Caleb Williams will continue to look terrible, and I will have no more will to live.
49ers – 2.5 over Cardinals
I don’t really want to bet on Mac Jones or Kyler Murray. This might be the toughest call of the weekend. I am riding with Kyle Shannahan and the home cooking. He will get the most of out Mac Jones who continues to fill in for the injured Brock Purdy. The 49ers defense will do just enough to slow down Kyler Murray and the Cardinals to pull off the tight victory.
Sunday Night Football
Giants +6.5 over Chiefs
I have not seen anything out of the Chiefs this season that says they should be over six-point favorites over anyone. Even the not-so-great Giants. The Giants pass rush can give the Chiefs a problem in this one. Mahomes is going to be sacked a lot while waiting for his below average receivers to get open. If the Chiefs do somehow prevail, it will be by less than six points.
Monday Night Football
Lions +4.5 over Ravens
In the spirit of complete transparency, I am making this pick almost entirely to appease Mrs. Steviepoooooo. I am on the fence about this one, but in the end the Lions will want to prove to the world that they are completely back. Lamar Jackson is going to continue to lay an egg in big games. Jared Goff on the other hand will finally begin to get the respect he deserves!
A bientot!
Bennie's Blasts 
Leave a comment