This was a terrible gambling week for your boy and the Poopies. If it was not for an all-time scoop and score by Jordan Davis’ big ass on the Eagles, we would be truly fucked.
Thursday Night: Bills 31 Dolphins 21
This game served as a foreshadowing of what was to come for the rest of the weekend. The Poopies bad luck began early when the Bills failed to cover by one measly point.
The Dolphins showed some surprising signs of life in this game. Josh Allen once again proved that if the game is close, unless he is playing Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs, he is going to put on his Superman cape and win the game.
Poor Tua. He played such a good game for three quarters. Sadly, all that will be remembered is his back breaking interception.
College Marquee: Indiana 63.5 Illinois 10
There is not a lot to say about this game other than Illinois should be ashamed of themselves. This game was a total stinker after being promoted hard by NBC and Peacock all afternoon.
This loss is so bad that Illinois should be automatically eliminated from playoff contention. The Hoosiers on the other hand just added an awesome line to their resume come December when the playoff teams are selected. I believe in Curt Cignetti and the Indiana Hoosiers.
NFL Early Slate
Vikings 48 Bengals 10
JJ McCarthy might have just lost his job. The Vikings looked so much better under the leadership and guidance of veteran quarterback Carson Wentz. This game was one of the few things that went well for the Poopies from a gambling perspective.
The Bengals are going to have a lot of questions to ask about their quarterback situation. The Vikings defense is good, but Browning looked very lost out there. I would do everything I could do to trade for Kirk Cousins if I were them.
Steelers 21 Patriots 14
Someone needs to keep an eye on Mike Vrabel this evening. If Rhamondre Stevenson somehow disappears, Vrabel will be the number one suspect.
Turnovers were the difference in this game as the Patriots fumbled three times in crucial situations. The Steelers did just enough to pull off the win on the road. They honestly should have won by more points, but a win is a win.
Jaguars 17 Texans 10
It might be the Ohio State in him, but CJ Stroud is not a good NFL quarterback. Ever since he “baby broed” Caleb Williams last year, he has been terrible. Let’s use CJ Stroud as a case study before we dub a young quarterback as one of the best in the league.
From the Jaguars perspective, they still have a lot to work on. They can be happy with their defenses performance today. The offense on the other hand needs to get their shit together.
Panthers 30 Falcons 0
This was the second most shocking result of the week. The Panthers looked to be on a mission from the opening kickoff to prove that they were not as bad as haters like Steviepoooooo seemed to think that they are. Their rushing attack was impressive. It was an overall good performance by the lowly Panthers. I am still going to resist betting on them going forward.
The Falcons laid a complete egg. Nothing was working for them. They all need to watch the tape of this one and then burn it. Never think about it again. Never!
Eagles 33 Rams 26
The Rams are going to be kicking themselves all week that they let this one get away. After being up almost twenty points late in the second half, the Eagles stormed back to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
An unlimited amount of props need to be given to Jalen Hurts and the Eagles for how they won this game. The one negative thing that critics were saying about them was whether or not they could win a game where they fell down by multiple scores. Their performance today answered that question concretely. Yes, they can!
Buccaneers 29 Jets 27
This was one of the more soul crushing defeats that I have seen in quite a while. After a remarkable block on a field goal attempt, the Jets returned the ball to take the lead with under two minutes remaining. Surely with their solid defense that would be enough to win the game right? Wrong!
Baker Mayfield did his thing and led the Buccaneers down the field for a short game winning field goal. Unfortunately for the Poopies, the Bucs did not come close to covering the spread 😦
Commanders 41 Raiders 24
I think I might need to give up on the Raiders. They may not be very good. Any team that gets their ass kicked by Marcus Mariota like this is not worthy of my respect.
Congrats on the impressive victory Commanders. You cost the Poopies even more money you burgundy fucks!
Colts 41 Titans 20
The Colts are for REAL. The Titans are REALLY bad. Help me remember these two things going forward my Poopies. I have now lost money betting on Cam Ward for two straight weeks. Never again!
Let’s ride the Colts from here on out. They are 3-0 against the spread this season. How long can they keep it going??
Browns 13 Packers 10
The football gods seemed to take ahold in this one. After a very controversial decision by the referees to say that Josh Jacobs was down before fumbling. This was despite no part of his body touching the ground before he lost the Browns. The Browns STUFFED the Packers game winning field goal attempt. They then nailed a fifty-five-yard attempt of their own to steal the game.
This was the most shocking result of the day as the Packers had this game in hand for the first 57 minutes of the game. These might be the two best defenses in the league. This game was an absolute slugfest, and I loved it!
Late Window
Seahawks Saints
It is honestly irresponsible for the Saints to continue to start poor Spencer Rattler. The man just is not an NFL quarterback. Their desire to keep playing him speaks volumes as to how little they think of their second round pick Tyler Shough.
The Seahawks defense is really really good. If they can take a lead, they are very good at managing the game. When they fall behind in games is when they are going to have problems.
Bears 31 Cowboys 14
Caleb Williams finally played an awesome game! I repeat Caleb Williams finally played a good game! Tell your mom! Tell your dad! Tell everyone!
I wish that the Bears could play the pathetic Cowboy’s defense every week! Thank you for getting rid of the best pass rusher in professional football Jerry Jones! You old senile idiot!
Chargers 23 Broncos 20
Our first push of the season as the Chargers just barely failed to cover the spread in this tight ball game. Justin Herbert continues to ride the coat tails of both his hall of fame coach and super hot girlfriend. He is now solidly in the conversation amongst the elite quarterbacks in the league.
The Broncos continue to underwhelm after getting a ton of hype all offseason. Bo Nix needs to start playing better or this team is going to fall miles short of their expectations.
49ers 16 Cardinals 15
Another tough loss for the Poopies as the 49ers failed to cover the spread by half a point! Why football gods oh why are you so cruel?
This 49ers team is really hard to assess with so many key players still missing. They have really capitalized on some fortunate schedule luck by beating the bad teams on their schedule.
The Cardinals are clearly amongst the middle of the pack of NFL teams. They might sneak into the playoffs with the seven seed but that is their ceiling.
A bientot!
Bennie's Blasts 
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