It’s October and that can only mean one thing. Wives are going to throw copious amounts of pumpkins at their husband’s heads! They will try desperately and fail to regain our attention as we watch endless amounts of playoff baseball. Not to mention we will not stop watching football either!
For those of you who are here eager to read how to lose money betting on football this weekend, I will put my picks at the end of this blast.
Time to make some bold predictions as to how this MLB post season will unfold.
NLDS 1 Padres over Brewers
As I am writing this, the Cubs and Padres are locked in a close winner or take all game of the Wild Card round. This is a blatant emotional hedge.
The Padres statistically have the best bullpen in all of baseball. This has been one of the best predictors for post season success in recent MLB history.
The Brewers on the hand have a recent history of coming up short in the post season. They are a team that has vastly overachieved compared to their talent. The Padres have more star power and that is why I am riding with them in this series. Let’s put some money on that underdog MoneyLine baby!
NLDS 2 Dodgers over Phillies
Picking the Dodgers to win in the Postseason is about as sexy as a cheese grater.
Their pitching is too good for this Phillies team to succeed. The Phillies have a lot of great hitters such as Kyle Schwarber and Bryce Harper. Their hitters are unfortunately very prone to strike out. They are going to be swinging and missing all over the place.
The Dodgers are currently -116 favorites to win this series. We may not be getting the best odds but let’s ride with fellow gambling addict Shohei Ohtani and bet the Dodgers.
ALDS 1 Tigers over Mariners
Having the best pitcher in baseball, Tarik Skubal, is such an advantage in a short five game series. Tarik “The Hoss of all Hosses” Skubal is essentially going to give the Tigers two guaranteed wins. All the Tigers have to do is win one measly game without him and the series is theirs!
Will the Mariners and their Big Dumper, Cal Raleigh, be able to ward off this assault from Motown Jungle Cats? No! Bet on dem Tigers and the +176 MoneyLine Poopies! Do it!
ALDS 2 Red Sox over Blue Jays
The Blue Jays are the far more talented team on paper. Sadly, they will not be able to shake of their Post Season Ickes this year.
I am predicting that the Red Sox will eliminate the Yankees tonight. Whether it is the Yankees or the Red Sox, I am going to bet on either of those teams to pull off the upset in Toronto. The Blue Jays have not been able to advance past this round of the Post Season this millennia. It is not going to happen this year either.
Football Picks
Rams -8.5 over 49ers.
Miami -4.5 over Florida State
Vikings -3.5 over Browns
Ravens +2.5 over Texans. I know there is no Lamar in this game. Fuck it the Texans suck!
Giants +1.5 over Saints
Eagles -3.5 over Broncos
Jets +2.5 over Cowboys
Colts – 6.5 over Raiders
Dolphins -1.5 over Panthers
Buccaneers +3.5 over Seahawks
Titans +7.5 over Cardinals. Fuck me.
Chargers -2.5 over Commanders
Lions -10.5 over Bengals.
Patriots +7.5 over Bills
Jaguars +3.5 over Chiefs
A bientot!
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